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short takes - But here in my heart, I give you the best of my love.

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May 7th, 2007


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05:11 pm - short takes
1. At some point this weekend there was a creature in my office that was non-human. I suspect mouse. That sorta freaked me out. I worked the afternoon from home.
2. Divorce bites the wax tadpole. I do not know this from personal experience or anything like it, but brrrrrr, what I do know from the outside has me really confused and upset. And I'm not even in it. I'm not expressing this next thought coherently, but it centres around the idea that when "us" works, it works well, but when "us" becomes "you" and "me" again, not so much. It does reconfirm a long-held belief of mine that a relationship is doomed when one of the parties believes themselves to be "better" than the other one going into the relationship. Eventually, that will out and twist the relationship.
3. I purchased a new prayer book today that's women's oriented. What Rabbi Jacobs said make me evaluate my praying rituals. I'm not saying I'm ditching my old trusty Art Scroll, far from it, the new book is also an Art Scroll, but it's good for me to explore, to sanctify myself with what's permitted, as the RAMBAM would say.
4. I think I'm missing having a taskbar, so I'll reboot.
Current Music: Tayler Dayne "Don't Rush Me"

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Comments:


[User Picture]
From:enochs_fable
Date:May 8th, 2007 12:48 pm (UTC)

prayer

(Link)
Say more about this prayerbook, your reasons for getting it, and all that?
[User Picture]
From:mdyesowitch
Date:May 8th, 2007 01:23 pm (UTC)

Re: prayer

(Link)
This is the Siddur I purchased. http://www.artscroll.com/Books/pwsacr.html

It's really sort of a follow on to Rabbi Jacobs' talk this weekend about finding an approach to prayer that really connects with me. I'm not a huge egalitarian service person. I like what I'm familiar with. I don't feel compelled to add the matriarchs to the opening blessings of the Amida, for example, and given my druthers, I don't think I would. That to me isn't inclusion. There's a rant down this path that I'm not going to follow today, but maybe in a few days, that would be something fun to do.

Still, I gotta think it would be great to have a book contain the text I'm actually saying for prayers like Modah Ani (masculine is "Modeh Ani") or the morning blessings. I'm not talking about "s'asani kirtzono" (the "made me according to his will" vs the male version of the same blessing which is "made me a man"), cause that is contained in the usual Siddur, but the simple language of masculine/feminine which forces me to mentally remember that even though the word says "eved," I say, "evdah."

When I lived in Israel, I spent a lot of time calling myself a guy for reasons of bad verb conjugation. Now that I'm slightly more educated, I'd like to use the right words, when I know them.

The primary thing that sets this Siddur apart, though, besides the focus on the laws of prayer as they relate to women, is that it has copies of some Tekhinot, the supplicatory prayers written by women as personal prayers to enhance their spiritual connection. I'm not sure what types of prayers are included, they give only a brief list, I'm hoping there are more than just the few cited, but since this is something I'm interested in exploring further, both with Rabbi Jacobs, and on my own, this seems like a good way to see it from an Orthodox perspective.

This may sound silly, but by buying an Artscroll, the same brand of Siddur I've been using since high school, it feels like a safe step forward. Not something into another branch of Judaism that I might question, (whether I intend to or not) but the same comfortable, familiar, trusted sources that have carried me thusfar and maybe can help me take it to the next level.

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