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Bleh - But here in my heart, I give you the best of my love.

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July 9th, 2004


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04:23 am - Bleh
So in celebration of my stunning inability to get back to sleep, I've decided to switch hoppie back into his Palm, thus completing the changeover, and I dunno,
I'm guessing the name Stone "Miss Stone" as Phillip called me, comes from the fact that there was a Phillip Stone on my high school, so the name Phillip naturally suggests it. I can't really account for the dreamy real/unreal qualities. The overlays of my own personality over this dream personality. Perhaps because the senario was so fantastic my mind couldn't accept it and kept interjecting.
I felt both safe (protected) and scaared in the dream. The fear came from the idea of exploring new territory. How much of yourself can you expose? I felt very open. Nothing hidden. And that was a scary feeling, however liberating it might have been. But the environment itself was safe. The people, very caring.
And there was a sense that I was wanted. That, although I didn't know how the partners were picked, Paul chose to be with me. My waking mind ascribed various and sordid motives to that, but I'm trying to hold onto the image of purity from my dream. The image of his smile as he looked at me in the light while I talked to Phillip. Waiting for me to come to him. The fabric of my black on white polka dotted dress rustling against my legs. In my dream, I saw myself walking over to him, for a moment before I turned back to my scripted and unscripted conversations with Phillip. In my mind I have interperations I cannot speak. It would be inappropriate even to think them. Is that why I dreamed them?

I think the airconditioner is blowing bad air around and that's why whenever I try to lay down, I have a coughing fit and can't get back to sleep.
Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: They Might Be Giants "Working Undercover for the Man"

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Comments:


From:lensedqso
Date:July 9th, 2004 06:03 am (UTC)
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Wow we must have switched bodies last night or something. I actually managed to fall back asleep after I woke up which, as you know, almost never happens. The world is an interesting place at 4am isn't it?

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