awesome ultimate expert hen (mdyesowitch) wrote,
awesome ultimate expert hen

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Just do it

So I was apparently Robin in my dreams last night, Writer/Midwife extraodinaire, except that I was writing romance novels. I don't know the time period, obviously not this one would be the salient point, as I was being prosecuted for composing salacious literature (read: bodice rippers). The man of the village was the Bobby Taylor type (Well, there's Bobby Taylor sitting there and seven times he'd asked me for a date), willing to prosecute as long as he felt he could get something out of it, usually actual gain, I think he was hoping he could convince me to go out with him in exchange for dropping the charges, but possibly the revenge angle was enough for him.
Anyway, we're in the village meeting house having this trial. The meeting house has a raised upper level where the judges sit, In front of that, on ground level is a set of chairs, where I sit, facing the same way as the judges, looking towards the larger portion of the meeting house which is filled rows of benches which are in turn filled with people.
Self-righteous man points to page 91 as proof of my corrupting influence. I ask to read the offending passage out loud. There are gasps from the villagers, but the judges (all men, of course), allow it. First, I read page 90, which is beautifully ornate picture with French that I can't read. After stumbling over the words awhile, I come to page 91 and the passage that I believe is contentious. It reads something like, "she wanted him to do it." There are collective gasps from the audience. I make my point that since the complaint is that this is corrupting children, we should ask the children of the village what they think it means. Court is recessed while they find and test children. In the meantime, I go to gossip with some of the village women, and check on a pregnant woman, make sure she's okay. They ask me what I hope to accomplish with such a risky strategy. Somewhere in this conversation we talk about self-righteous man's motivaations and his past law suits, including a report of licentiousness against a man who's property he coveted. I explain my strategy thusly:
"I hope to convince them that the salaciousness is of their making, not mine." I say. "They say I'm corrupting children, but children haven't the faintest clue what that means. Maybe in a different time period they would, but I imagine only the advanced of them will think it refers to kissing and most will think it means even less, like she wants him to tag her, so she can be "It" for awhile."
They are surprised by this new idea and while they're talking, I go in and sneak a look at the proceedings. There is a man talking to a child, asking him what he think it's means. Of course the child has not a clue, but it's the man who interests me. I recognize him as a Boston Red Sox team member. (In the dream, I think it might be Trot Nixon, only because I can't remember who it is. Waking, I realize it's actually Shea Hillenbrand, former 3rd baseman for the Red Sox, now with the Arizona Diamondbacks at 1st.). I leave him to his questioning and walk up to the judges platform to join Johnny Damon and a girlfriend of mine, a widow, who are talking. As I come up, Johnny congratulates me on the strategry, as predicted, the children haven't the vaguest clue what it means, so I can't be a corrupting influence. He bets me 500$ I won't wear a replica of his beard. As I don't need the money, I stipulate that he use it to support my friend (the woman who's with us) and anything she doesn't need, he should give to charity. He points out that he already does support my friend, but he agrees, and we shake on it. Then I ask him where the beard is. He says I'll have to find my own, so I go off to do that.

20 trick-or-treaters. I think that's a record for us. From the looks of me, I had a great weekend. I have a bruised ankle, assorted new bruises on my body and I've managed to snap the band of my engagement ring, which I'll now have to get repaired. Don't ask how, because I haven't a clue. I don't remember falling or doing anything particularly dangerous. I think I must have snapped the band sheering it against the ring guard I've been wearing. I guess this is as a good a time as any to get the thing resized.
Tags: dream, holiday, shopping

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