tiredHe smiles sweetly, strokes my hair, says he misses me,
I would murder him right there, but first I die.
He talks softly of his wars, and his horses and his whores,
I think love's a dirty business.
I implore him on my knees, and he kisses me,
He assumes I'll use my reason, and I do.
Ask any girl in this lonely world,
Ask any girl. She'll say "Make it last forever,"
I'm holding out my hand.
I finally understand.
So turn out the lights, oh yeah, we'll make it last forever.
I've been down the streets of desire.
Sometimes I was so uninspired.
You found what was locked up inside of me.
When you find out how good love can be,
You're so lost when it sets you free.
They say once in your life you find someone that's right,
Someone who loves you like me.
Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white night upon a fiery steed?
Late at night, I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need.
Speaking of dreams, last night I dreamt I went home for what turned out to be the Rabbi's birthday. I realized after I'd gotten there, I didn't have my usual hair covering, but I was wearing a hat and it actually did a good job of hiding the bulk of my hair, as I had cut it quite short (!!) and died it jet black. It was shock straight too, except for a bit of curling in the front. I seemed to cause quite a commotion. The usual separations weren't up and there was intermingled seating, except that there wasn't. There were no physical barriers, but the men and women were still sitting in separate clumps. I went to sit with some friends and the Rabbi's wife gave me dirty looks, which I presume was because my hair wasn't completely covered. I think just about every person I know from Louisville, and knew growing up was there. It was a huge crowd. I sat in front of Robin G, and I can't remember who I sat with. I think Robin might have been the only person who said something nice about my hair and seemed to mean it.
During the Rabbi's speech (at which point I figured out why we were there.) he was lamenting turning 40, and complaining about how it was the end of everything. Death and destruction. The end of days. The beginning of the end. He was very upset about it, raging.
Then I went to a party, but I was late, although I arrived when I said I would. The party was on a series of about six porches, three on each side of the alley, and the porches connected the houses on either side of the alley, so it wasn't like you ever touched the street to cross between the houses. People were mostly on two of them, left and right towards the front of the alley. It was nighttime. There were lights on, though, so visability was good. I came in on a back porch on the right, and crossed over through the party to a back porch on the left, which was Rich's porch because I had a bit of melon stuck in my teeth and I knew Rich had toothpics. As I passed my dad greeted me, and so did my grandparents (MeeMaw and PeePaw), but I didn't respond because I had, you know, melon in my teeth. I got the toothpick and was just starting to remove the melon when I woke up.
---
In my waking mind, I fixated on the hair, because it was so startling. Here's what Dream Dictionary has to say about short hair, particularly hair that was cut short: To dream that you are cutting your hair, suggests that you are experiencing a loss in strength. You may feel that someone is trying to censor you. Alternatively, you may be reshaping your thinking or ambitions and eliminating unwanted thoughts/habits.
But then, I'm not sure that applies, because that's about the act of cutting hair, not about showing up with dyed short hair, in clear contravention to the usual style I prefer.
Here's what DD has to say about black: Black symbolizes the unknown, unconscious, danger, mystery, darkness, death, mourning, hate or malice. Well, that narrows it down.
Here's toothpicks: To see toothpicks in your dream, suggests that you are too picky. It also indicates that you needlessly dwell on minor flaws, faults, and other small issues.
To dream that you are using a toothpick, denotes your role in the downfall of a friend.
So there you go. I'll stop thinking about the dream.
Edit: I lied. After a conversation with
solies, I got to thinking about the significance of being at a Synagogue. Here's what DD says about religious buildings:To dream that you are in a church, suggests that you are seeking for some spiritual enlightenment and guidance. You are looking to be uplifted in some way. Perhaps you have made some mistakes in the past which have set you back on your path toward your goals. With proper support, you will get on the right track again. Alternatively, it may also mean that you are questioning and debating your life path and where it is leading. You are reevaluating what you want to do.
It talks about what it means when you dream about your birthday, but it doesn't say anything about what it means when you dream it's someone else's birthday.
I was thinking last night of going to Louisville this weekend, just grabbing a good plane deal and going. Would just show up on my parents doorstep for the weekend by myself.
I'd gotten as far as looking on websites for fares when I remembered I have a committment to Rocker on Saturday night. Part of me thinks he wouldn't care if I were there or not, but it matters to me that I be there, because he's always there for me when I need something. Then I projected out until escape was realistically possible. I stopped when I realized that the next available weekend was the weekend after I get back from KY. Not much point then. *sigh*