awesome ultimate expert hen (mdyesowitch) wrote,
awesome ultimate expert hen

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All the things that add up

Tired and Twisted

So I light out for massage last night, and I'm driving and all of the sudden, the car starts riding really rough. I think, "Damnit, I've got something stuck under my tire." I drive to the end of the street, turn right, it's still with me. I go up to the light, and turn left, still there. I turn left again into a gas station. I get out. I look at the car. The right passenger tire is flat, and I mean like a pancake. It's pulled back from the rim. It's cracked in two places, and it's well, very not drivable. So I call Hoppie to come help me change the tire. I know how to change a tire, but I really suck at it. Hoppie comes to get me. I call lensedsqo who was waiting for me at the train station, and karnil our masseusse.
Hoppie arrived. I have unburied the spare (mostly) but I can't quite lift get it out. Hoppie helps me with that and we're just getting the other pieces of jack out of trunk when this good samartian comes by and offers to help. We assure we're fine, but he insists. He brings out his jack and has the car up and the tire off in like 2 minutes. We swap tires and brings the car down while hoppie puts the tire in the trunk. He tells us that he doesn't work, just makes his living hleping people and they give him 5/10 bucks for his help. Hoppie gives him 5 bucks and then I go off to NTB and he goes to pick up Jan.
We meet at the tire place. By the time they've gotten there, my boys have already told me that they don't have the tire in stock and we're discussing options for where I can go to get the tire. They're nice boys, so all of there suggestions are theoretically reproduceble here. One of them says about every one of them, "but it's a pain to get into." I find that amusing. Finally we decide to go to one. (Me: It was in one of those W towns. Jill: Waltham? Wellseley? Woburn? Wrenham? Me:Westborough. Wayland. WFramingham. One of those. Jill: Which one? Me: Everett. Jill: Right.) They have a long wait, relatively speaking and we don't get out until about 5 minutes to 8. But since I have road hazard coverage, it doesn't cost me anything! Yea!

Did you hear that one about Michael?

This morning I was thinking controversial thoughts in the shower. I was wondering how many people identify homosexual because they have sex with a person of their own gender before they find someone of the opposite gender willing to sleep with them. I know of two guys like that, where they had a heterosexual identity that I knew about growing up. We used to share fantasies about members of the opposite sex, and it wasn't just a "fit in" thing, because it was just us, and I've always had known gay friends, it was their actual fantasies, or so I believe, but the opportunities to realize those fantasies never came up.
I'm not saying they didn't have a tendency towards their own gender, I think they did and chances are good that they'd just have been bi/curious, except that their early sexual experiences were overridingly homosexual and so they lost the ability to identify themselves any other way.

You can't go home again

I truely sound like home now. My cold has settled into my chest, giving me a raspy "raised in tobacco" county sound to go with the fact that I'm exhausted from not sleeping enough, which brings out the smooth side of my southern accent. I can now pass for Kentucky in nearly every state in the union, except probably KY where they'll say what they always have, "Ya'll from New York?"

All your friends in the soliesverse

Blinky: Why doesn't Emma talk about us in her blog anymore?
Solies: Didn't you hear? All the Widget1 Unauthorized History posts have moved to soliefriends.
Blinky: Hear about it? I proposed it!
Solies: Then why did you ask?
Blinky: Manners?
Solies: ...
Blinky: You see, if someone doesn't ask, Emma won't tell people where they are. And the masses would be deprived.
Solies: That's madness!
Blinky: You see what I'm preventing? It's practically a public service.
Solies: Brighams has a 2 for 1 sale on "Reversed Curse" ice cream.
Blinky: ooooh! Let's punt on the PSA and have ice cream. Emma's fans can find the group on their own!
Blinky and Solies leave.
Emma: Darn it! Where am I going to get someone to announce the group for a quarter?
Coworker6: I'm actually looking to increase my blog exposure.
Emma: That's nice. Do you think Lanna would do it? She must need the money by now.
Coworker6: Much as I would hate to deprive a family of 6 of money-making oppportunity...
Emma: Lena probably wouldn't do it. And Boris hates commercial advertising. ZABO might do it if I play up the public service announcement.
Coworker6: Or I could do it.
Emma: You? I can't really see you doing it.
Coworker6: Gimme the quarter.
Emma hands him a quarter.
Coworker6: Not this one. This is Georgia. Do you have Ohio?
Emma rummages through her purse looking.
Emma: No.
Coworker6: Forget it then.
He tosses the quarter back and leaves.
Emma: And that's exactly what happened.
Jumpie: Why does everything that happens in your office result in mountain lions with tasers camping out in our bed?
Emma: It's a very comfortable bed.
Jumpie: When we can use it.

There was more stuff to talk about, but I can't remember it, so I declare this post completed.
Tags: adult, car, soliefriends, thoughts, tmi

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  • I helped someone!

    Yea me!

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