|10:25 am - Speak fitly or be silent wisely
Elaine is fond of quoting the military saying, "All is well as long as the troops are complaining loud and clear. The time to worry is when all is quiet." I feel like my sincere comments have been met with derision and jeers. Don't look for further complaints. My heart isn't in it right now. I will do as I'm told quietly and efficiently. I'll be passionate on command, and otherwise passive.
Deviations may be met with deviations, or utter calm. I just don't know what else to do. This has moved beyond a state where I feel like I have any semblance of control. It's hard for me to tell how much is reasonable, and how much isn't? Am I having "I can't play calvinball the way I want so I'm taking my ball and going home," feelings? Or as I reacting to something real that feels very much like a betrayal, not of me, but of something else that I believed in, no matter how stupidly.
Or am I just rambling?
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Various Artists - On The Shoulders Of Freaks