Deviations may be met with deviations, or utter calm. I just don't know what else to do. This has moved beyond a state where I feel like I have any semblance of control. It's hard for me to tell how much is reasonable, and how much isn't? Am I having "I can't play calvinball the way I want so I'm taking my ball and going home," feelings? Or as I reacting to something real that feels very much like a betrayal, not of me, but of something else that I believed in, no matter how stupidly.
Or am I just rambling?