So I went to a party lites candle party at hoppie's cousin's house. First off, she had it outside, and there bugs. Many, many bugs. Most of them biting. A lot of them biting me, specifically. Then we moved inside about 5 minutes before the thunderstorm. I've noticed many people in my life delighting in the beauty of the thunderstorm, and I will admit, it is beautiful, but it's also raining and thundering. Muchly fun to drive home in post party, I can assure you.
Also because hoppie shut up the house to keep the rain out, and it was wicked hot, but that's not really what I'm talking about.
The woman who ran the candle party was perky and pushy by turns. I really like her at the beginning of the night, but when she collected her materials, she collected everything. I mean, I wouldn't expect to keep the binders, because they were leathery and expensive portfolios, but she didn't let us keep the PartyLites pens, which you would think would be good advertising to get out there,
["Can I borrow a pen?"
"Oh, what's PartyLites?"
"It's a candle company. I bought some candles from them. They're really nice. I can give you the contact information for the woman I bought them from if you're interested."
"Oh, that would be lovely."]
but apparently not. She also had made a big deal about this candle care tips brochure that we'd be able to take home, but she collected the pads so quickly, you had to be really alert if you actually wanted to keep it. I kept that and the catalogue, and she seemed a bit shocked and confused.
I mean honestly, have you ever walked out of one of those dorky parties where they didn't want you to keep the catalog? Normally they're like, please take it home, look it over, if you see something you want, you can always me up until X date. This woman couldn't wait to get them away from us. It was really weird.
She also did a hard sell on the scheduling party thing. I got the softest one, because I just don't do in-home parties. Hoppie won't permit it. Even when I want to do them, he won't allow it, so it makes it very easy to say "No."
I feel like I might have led her on when I asked her the question about how you keep new business flowing, but I've always wondered about that. The entire party system is basically a gigantic pyramid scheme, will ultimately will fail. Of course, for people who actually use candles (which isn't really me), they do consume themselves, so you have to replenish and maybe that creates additional business. But probably not from the likes of me.
Last night I headed over to Delia's De-stress Centre and had, I kid you not, the most sensual experience I have ever had.
It started like this. I sat up on the table and she measured the stones out. Then I lay back on them. They surrounded my spine, from my waist up my back, and finally terminating with one final stone on my neck. The warmth danced around me, making me feel tingly and relaxed at the same time. Then she started the massage. It was a bit backwards from the usual order of things, but she worked on my arms, and my shoulders and my knee (which feels a ton better now, squeeee!!!). Then I sat up and she removed the stones, and I turned over and she replaced them with fresh ones, and pulled the cover back over me. I kid you not, when she put the cover back on me, I felt tingles all the way up and down my body, even my face started to tingle pleasantly. Because she kept using the stones, her hands were so warm. I was seconds from melting in a puddle of pure pleasure. Then she worked on my legs, scalp, and back. Le wow! I want to drag hoppie. I want to take my mother. I want to share this experience with everyone because it was really amazing.
So after I got home, I left the air conditioned comfort of my sexy and beautiful car for my dry, stuffy, hot home. I could barely breathe downstairs becuase all the windows were shut and the range was on, so I went upstairs fairly quickly. I got into the bedroom, and even with a window open it was stuffy and hot. I screamed downstairs to hoppie, "We definitely have to put the airconditioner..." and then I saw it. The airconditioner. In the window. Ready to be fired up and turned on. "...you are the best husband ever!"
"What was that you were saying?" he asked.
"I tested it too," he said, "And set it for 70 degrees. Have fun."
So I turned it, closed the open window and slept happily and comfortably until 6:20 when I woke up with a headache. Since I had a headache anyway, and it was a bit early, I decided to try to sleep it off. I did, but I didn't wake up until 9:30. Whoops. Guess who gets to stay late at work today.
The husband of one of my coworkers is having a pot-luck lunch at work today, so my coworker got stuck doing the prep work. Yesterday she comes by and tells me that she's making samosas for the party, and asks if I would like the leftovers. So in the freezer of the office, just waiting for me to bring them home and fry them up golden brown and delicious, are homemade samosas. I know you're all jealous as hell. I would be too. Although I would point out that I did not get Mango lassi the last time it came to work because I was in KY, so this is just my due.
Also got email from DaBoss. I'm getting a new computer.
I am getting a new computer!
YEA!!!! Finally VB that works.
A help system for Visio.
An Outlook that doesn't try to connect to the file system every twenty minutes.
Disk space! What would that be like!