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Spamanalyzed - But here in my heart, I give you the best of my love.

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July 11th, 2005


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10:10 am - Spamanalyzed
My mother, as I might have mentioned before, sends me every bad joke and feel good email she can get her hands on. And I never take all that much notice of them. But I do read them, usually, if it doesn't require me to open a file. This is a fragment of some spam from the weekend.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

I have a lot of parental phone numbers in my little green book. I do not pretend it means anything about me.
That's all.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative

(5 Represent the voice of the people | Request an audience)

Comments:


From:singingarc
Date:July 12th, 2005 12:04 am (UTC)

My long-lost sister?

(Link)
My mom does this too.
[User Picture]
From:mdyesowitch
Date:July 12th, 2005 01:00 pm (UTC)

Re: My long-lost sister?

(Link)
I think there are two kinds of mothers. Those who don't use the internet and those who send internet spam.
Although my mother-in-law is pretty good about not bouncing junk mail. Mostly because receiving it irritates her.
[User Picture]
From:hr_macgirl
Date:July 12th, 2005 06:45 pm (UTC)

Re: My long-lost sister?

(Link)
my mother uses the internet and does not send me spam. Thankfully.
[User Picture]
From:themightyrando
Date:July 12th, 2005 04:53 pm (UTC)

Real Friends

(Link)
I try to collect such phrases. Thus far I have two, one from a standup comedian, one from an email.

A friend will help you move.
A real friend will help you move a body.

A friend will bail you out of jail.
A real friend will be in the next cell saying, "Dude that was awesome!"

Most of my friends, I know their parents' number. But in my case, it's cuz most of my friends I knew in high school when they lived with their parents.
[User Picture]
From:mdyesowitch
Date:July 12th, 2005 05:50 pm (UTC)

Re: Real Friends

(Link)
I have no idea if you want to add these to your collection, but here is the rest of the email with a warning that my mother's emails tend to the schmaltzy:
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents'first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

A simple friend reads this e-mail and deletes it.
A real friend passes it on and sends it back to you!
---
I think I disagree with at least one line in each of these.

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