The first thing I remember is talking to a friend's daughter who's about 14, maybe younger, about filing her taxes. She went to boarding school in a different state, but she didn't want to claim either her home state or her school state as her residence, she wanted to claim Texas because the taxes were lower there and she'd get more money back.
"You can't claim Texas as your home state. You don't live there. You don't have an address there."
"Well, I'll make up one!"
"But they'll respond to it and you won't get the mail."
She got very huffy and made some remark about how much it sucks to pay taxes.
"It's better than being arrested for tax fraud." says I, going upstairs to finish getting ready for work.
So she bursts into tears and my mother makes me go back and apologize.
"For what?" I ask, "Telling her the truth that no one else will? If she does this, she can be arrested for tax evasion and fraud. But no one cares about that. We just can't hurt her feelings."
So I went off to work. I don't remember much about it, but one of my coworkers, Jeff (Jeff is not the name of any of my coworkers), came back with me and we were going to go out to dinner, but I just wanted to empty the dishwasher first. MeeMaw was "helping" me. There was a lot going on. Girls in and out reading books and playing with Jeff who they thought was a girl also, even though I kept calling him Jeff. When they didn't respond to him like I thought they should to a guy, I remembered that I had a friend once who dated a girl nicknamed Jeff, and maybe they that was like this. A girl named Jeff.
Anyway, eventually we went out, but then the dream changed and I was my way to a work-sponsored pre-football rally where an actual football team (don't know whose) would come out and speak to us.
I was alone when I parked the car. When I sat down in the first area for the first part of program, a friend of mine who I hadn't seen in years sat next to me. We chatted a bit, and then fell silent. The first part of the program seemed like a video test of introductions for football players. Some of them had correct pictures and sounds and others had goofy pictures, like cartoon characters, or famous movie stars from the past, some were caractatures. It was very funny.
I moved to the second part of program and sat on the grass a bit past the main crowds. A moment later she caught up and sat next to me.
I awkwardly thanked her for joining me, saying I should have invited her to join me, I just wasn't thinking.
She told me I had invited her to join me. And that I'd invited her to be my guest for the day since I thought the program was something she'd enjoy. Well, I didn't remember inviting her, although I do remember thinking she'd enjoy the program, in nearly identical words to the ones she said I said.
I didn't get too much time to ponder that because two things happened. 1) They moved a dumpster nearly right in front of where i was sitting, so I was debating moving, and 2) Elaine showed up wearing this huge red windbreaker with two small, blonde heads sticking out of it. She and the two kids sat down next to us. The football players staff started running out introducing themselves.
Elaine started telling me that Lawrence was going to kill a boy named "Manda" in D's class.
Why? I asked.
Well apparently they'd asked D if she wanted to start learning to babysit, to take positions of responsibility and she'd said no. And Elaine said, well then you'll have to learn to caretake your dolls, and to parent them, is that really all the experience you want?
And D said that she wanted to marry Manda, a boy in her daycare class, because "I feel the urge to bipedal."
And Elaine said, I know what that means she feels the urge to do."
I corrected her, "It means she feels the urge to create a loving family like the one she's in now."
And then I woke up.
But I just can't get over that line, "I feel the urge to bipedal."