We don't want people to define us by our grief, we want them to accept us with our grief.
When we experience one tragedy, we experience all tragedies. They become intertwined and grieving for 9/11, or the VT shootings, or Columbine, or the victims of the Tsunami, or the loss of Nat, even a single person, becomes part of grieving for the victims, for all of those lost to us. We have a face to associate with that grief, and it will always be part of the way we express ourselves in the world. It's like a well of grief. Say we liquefied this tragedy, coloured it with red food colouring, and put it into the well. When we take a bucket of grief out to experience it, it's no longer that pure red, it's become intermingled with everything else in the well, part of the collective grief experience.
lowercaseb posted this cartoon., which is simple and poignant.