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December 14th, 2007

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03:16 pm - Quickly updating
8" of snow at the house.

Went to see my doctor K today. We discussed the stressors behind my increase in migraines. She said, and I kid you not.
"You have the Jewish curse." Guilt. And I have to get over it. Stop expecting perfection and beating myself up about it. Love yourself and accept yourself as you are. Etc. I'll work on that.

Got shoes. Not sure they were what I was looking at the LLBean catalog, but they're comfyish. Parking at LL Bean was dreadful. Morons and pyschos. Those are the people who were out shopping today.
Current Mood: sicksick

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Date:December 16th, 2007 02:50 am (UTC)

Guilt can be a good thing in small doses

While Dr. K's advice is sound, I have to say that guilt isn't always a bad thing ~~ That feeling guilty is one way to know that you are truly trying to do your best.

For example, whenever I meet someone who tells me that one of their parents or both of their parents weren't particularly at the job or truthfully were really awful parental units, I always ask them if the "bad" parent or parents say regularly:

"I did the best that I could!"

These people have always, 100 percent of the time, told me "OMG, How did you know? They say it all time to me."

Why? Because these people have no guilt. Because these not so good parents are all to eager to give themselves a pass. Whilst "good" parents who are trying, honestly trying, will have 1,000 regrets or things that they wished they did different and will tell you so.

In other words, they feel guilty. I know that there are thousand things with my eldest child who I had for more 13 years, that I would like a do over with. Heck, I have things that I'd like to do over with him prenatally.

And even with the imported three of 3.5 years, there are literally hundred different things I would do different with each of them if I knew then what I know now.

So yes, forgive yourself, but I think it is a sign of character to feel guilt. Means you really do care. So, my dear, you don't have the "Jewish Curse", you just have more character than most folks.

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