1. It means I'm snacking more instead of eating healthy
2. It means I'm getting more migraines.
3. It means eating more at dinner because I feel like I should.
Mostly it means I'm unbalanced from a physical perspective.
The problem is that nothing has seemed interesting. It's a huge hassle to go out at lunch time. The caf here is expensive and nothing in it has seemed interesting. So I've been considering doing bentos for lunch. The idea of a lot of small things, rather than one or two big things really appeals to me. I've noticed in even my shelf-stable meals, I tend to gravitate to the ones that have a little bit of a couple things rather than a larger portion of a single thing. Within the context of the bento, it means that in addition to preferring the different tastes and textures, if I'm not in the mood for X by the time lunch rolls around, I've got some other options. And I can control portions and relative healthiness as well as cost, etc. And most mornings I wake up early enough to have time to put something together.
When I get more into it, I'll add some evening prep work to do stuffed rice balls, maybe maki rolls. I'm not ready for that level of commitment yet, but hopefully. Anyway, this, my first bento, is hopelessly American. I bought a two layer box at Stop & Shop yesterday. It has a main compartment, a removable ice pack (not in use for this one), and two smaller compartment that fit on top ice tray. I designated it as dairy. My shelf-stable food is meat, if I get the craving, and part of the problem with them is there are lot of times I don't feel like having a meat tint, so then I don't eat anything, but that's back to the problem statement again.
Anyway this is what's in my bento today (pictures here: http://www.yesowitch.org/DigitalPhotography/bento):
Small container 1: A small lump of humus. A bigger lump of tabouli. Decorative (and edible!) olives.
Small container 2: Assorted apple chips, chocolate covered pomegranate (that also looks like decorative olives)
large container: Sliced pita for humus and tabolui, Peanut butter, and pineapple jelly sandwich, string cheese, and fruit leather thing.
It may be too much food. It feels like it might be, but it also feels like it might be enough so I also brought a bag of potato sticks. Last time I brought lunch, it was nearly double what I could reasonably eat, but then I always worry it won't be enough. Trial and error will be required to come up with a general guideline.
And of course, I picked the Friday before a holiday weekend to start this, so there's no time to create a real pattern. Hopefully I will love my lunch so much that when Monday night/Tuesday rolls around, I'll be giddy at the idea of doing it again.
I also have a salad shaker. One of those things where you put the salad in the main compartment and the lid holds the salad dressing. That's another idea for healthiness.
Ultimately, I'm hoping to make some for hoppie too. I'll talk to him about what he likes/doesn't like in lunchage and we'll work something out. I only bought the one box, but we should be able to find him another one. I'm afraid to be too ambitious because I'm so concerned about failure. I know it's the smoke of another fire, but even telling people about this makes me nervous because if I can't sustain it than people will know I failed. Completely nonsensical, because again, whether I do it or not, who cares but me? Why am I labeling myself, in advance, and trying not to look like I care too much about this. I'm tired of sublimation and metaphors. I just want to live a simple, uncomplicated life. It's just that my brain won't let me.
So the bento is a metaphor for my life. A compartmentalized look at a random sampling of tasty experiences. If I can maintain the balance, this could work.