I'm hot, I'm cold. There's barely even spotting happening. Feels like I should just sit back and wait for the floodgates to open. Ugh.
Edited to add: Double ugh. I can feel tendrils of hope sneaking in. Stop that. You'll only make it hurt more later.
But aren't you going to be embarrassed after all this whining if you really are pregnant.
Probably yes, but I shouldn't be. I'm making reasonable assumptions based on available data. So bite me, stray hope. And shoo. You don't belong here right now, you're only setting yourself up for the inevitable stomp-on later.