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Stories I never wrote meme - But here in my heart, I give you the best of my love.

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September 16th, 2009


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10:52 am - Stories I never wrote meme
Give me the title of a story I’ve never written, and feedback telling me what you liked best about it, and I will tell you some or all of: the first sentence, the last sentence, the thing that made me want to write it, the biggest problem I had while writing it, why it almost never got submitted to magazines, the scene that hit the cutting room floor but that I wish I’d been able to salvage, or something else that I want readers to know.

This could be fun.
Current Mood: busybusy

(8 Represent the voice of the people | Request an audience)

Comments:


From:lensedqso
Date:September 16th, 2009 07:00 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I'll play.

I really enjoyed "Viking Space Pirates from Quaxaran" and the way you seamlessly incorporated every known space opera and CTR cliche in the known existence into a single story.
[User Picture]
From:mdyesowitch
Date:September 16th, 2009 07:31 pm (UTC)
(Link)
First sentence:
She moved with an elegant grace that told me she was completely unaware of the myriads of beings following her every move with their eyes.

Last sentence:
As we gazed in five suns setting over the horizon, I removed my helmet and realized I was happy on Quaxran for the first time and finally ready to set aside the wandering life of a space pirate.

Why this fiction:
That kinda writes itself doesn't it? Viking Space Pirates find romance on the hottest planet in the galaxy. Who wouldn't want to write that story. The last time I visited Quaxaran, I took a trip to Kyatza and climbed to the top of Bronson Hill to watch the sun set and it was so magical, the kind of place, the kind of moment, that really does change your perspective on everything. I wanted to capture that moment of complete and utter peace; like it's all falling perfectly into place, like the first part of your life was just a vehicle to get you to this place, this moment. I was glad I was able to incorporate that image into this deeply romantic love story.

The biggest problem:
Working with such a willful heroine presented more challenges than a demure one, but a demure one would have been a bad match for the hero and very out of context. Some of the scenes had to be rewritten several times to get the right combination of strength, power, and snark.

Why it almost never got submitted:
Well, it was too long, for one thing. And I thought people would think it was silly, but sometimes you just got to go for it!

Hardest cut scene:
There was a beautiful scene after the kidnapping where the heroine nearly drowns in the bar vat of simple syrup. She's escaping and ends up in the bar, which is structured like a typical space bar. Meanwhile the pirates are under attack by the Telasians and the ship is taking some hard knocks. And she ends up in the vat. She's saved by quick thinking and Andre the Servobot and she and Andre have this really sweet conversation about the hero's past and why our heroine has such trouble believing in him, and I really loved it, but then, you know that information ultimately had to come from him in order to show his progression, so off went the scene.

Things you should know:
It's probably obvious that I took a few liberties with time and space. Obviously Gracnok is more than two days from Telasia, even at the best speeds currently possible, you couldn't get there in under a week and certainly not with the kind of damage they were flying with.

And it's unreasonable to believe that Empress Clyondia would have ever been involved directly in the trial. At best she would have assigned her son, Edgerael to handle it. Also history shows that Clyondia was never on Quaxaran in her youth. She was there shortly after her coronation and she did make those comments, I just moved them to a different period in her life.
From:lensedqso
Date:September 16th, 2009 07:54 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Have another one:

"Duh, Or If You Need to Be Told That, You're Too Stupid to Live"

I particularly like how you were able to use people's real names since anyone who qualified for entry was either illiterate or incapable of recognizing themselves even when hit over the head with proof of identity.
[User Picture]
From:mdyesowitch
Date:September 16th, 2009 08:18 pm (UTC)
(Link)
First sentence:
Emma knew it was going to be a long day when the first thing Jim, the database "expert," said when he walked into the office was, "What's SQL?"

Last sentence:
"The problem with low expectations," Emma agreed, "is that you're so seldom disappointed."

Why this fiction:
Stress therapy mostly. There are some needs even soliefriends can't satisfy.

The biggest problem:
Selecting which anecdotes to incorporate and how fictionalized to make them. The thing with comedy is finding the line between laughing at the stupidity and cringing at it.

Why it almost never got submitted:
two words: legal liability.

Hardest cut scene:
The scene where Tom and Jim face off over code requirements was about 12 times longer in the original. And it's all brilliantly funny. But it didn't ultimately advance the plot, and was really just an exorcism of personal demons and it got cut down to essentials. Oh, but that was some great material. I might have to use it in a future soliefriends.

Things you should know:
I merged some of the best characters from several jobs together to create the perfect storm of a work environment.
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From:lain_mac
Date:September 17th, 2009 03:03 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Don’t be crewel – My life as a vigilante crochet assassin

I would have never thought the juxtaposition of the details of crochet stitches would match so well with the perfect planning of the assassinations of various evil do-ers.
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From:mdyesowitch
Date:September 17th, 2009 04:37 pm (UTC)
(Link)
First sentence:
When the average person says she will spin you a yarn, you prepare yourself for a long and probably fanciful story; but Electra isn't the average person.

Last sentence:
I could hardly believe the devastation around me, but Electra calmly picked up the G hook from where it landed, straightened it out, wiped it off, and resumed her crochet as if nothing had ever happened.

Why this fiction:
There's too many knitting stories and not enough crochet stories.

The biggest problem:
Match up the back post triple crochet with the bank heist. I don't mind telling you, it took a long to work out the details of that particular caper.

Why it almost never got submitted:
Because my beta reviewers were pretty harsh, but I incorporated a number of their suggestions and it turned out great!

Hardest cut scene:
The psycho lesbian cat getting caught in the yarn. It was adorable, but isn't the whole kitten playing with yarn thing overdone. I was glad I was able to keep most of the psycho lesbian cat's appearances in, and the cat is still in the scene, just not entangled in the yarn.

Things you should know:
The psycho lesbian cat is modeled on a real cat.

All the crochet stitches are real and the resources at the end of the story provide more information on where to learn how to do it.

I have personally tried all the patterns Electra uses and, while I don't necessarily recommend the "crook catcher" be used as described, it does at least look its described. The crochet marbles really do trip people up, though, that's actually where the idea from this story came from.
From:hoppie
Date:September 18th, 2009 03:56 pm (UTC)
(Link)
The Pharaoh and the Pyramid Scheme - I was particularly taken with the way you tied the invention of Manhattan clam chowder to the ancient Sumerians.
[User Picture]
From:mdyesowitch
Date:September 21st, 2009 01:42 pm (UTC)
(Link)
First sentence:
As the sun began to rise over the Nile, Jocheved watched, her heart in her throat, as the waters carried away the reed basket.

Last sentence:
As the waters closed over his chariot the Pharaoh cried out, "But this will never work! You can't put chocolate in chili!"

Why this fiction:
It's clear the evolution of both food and scams stem from Biblical times, its a pleasure to be able to show a possible causal link between them.

The biggest problem:
The challenge is keeping it historically accurate. Obviously a lot of research went into this story. I had to consult with numerous culinary historians as well as several prominent mathematicians to determine what the biggest pyramids were and how the Pharaohs schemed to get them built.

Why it almost never got submitted:
The editors didn't believe it was probably, if you can believe it! I ended up having to bring him my five binders of research to show them all the work I'd done to establish the historicity of the piece. But I was able to prove the accuracy of the story and eventually they relented.

Hardest cut scene:
The scene where Pharaoh pays Moses for the Rhode Island Crab Cake recipe, even though it's pretty obvious that Moses wouldn't have a Crab Cake recipe at all, given that they aren't Kosher. But it was sorta redundant, given the Cincinnati Chili recipe, Manhattan Clam Chowder, Louisiana Crunch Cake, Cony Island Hot Dog, Boston Cream Pie, etc.

Things you should know:
They did not the use Cincinnati chili to make the Cony Island Hot Dog. That was absolutely never done!

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