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September 16th, 2009

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10:52 am - Stories I never wrote meme
Give me the title of a story I’ve never written, and feedback telling me what you liked best about it, and I will tell you some or all of: the first sentence, the last sentence, the thing that made me want to write it, the biggest problem I had while writing it, why it almost never got submitted to magazines, the scene that hit the cutting room floor but that I wish I’d been able to salvage, or something else that I want readers to know.

This could be fun.
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Date:September 21st, 2009 01:42 pm (UTC)
First sentence:
As the sun began to rise over the Nile, Jocheved watched, her heart in her throat, as the waters carried away the reed basket.

Last sentence:
As the waters closed over his chariot the Pharaoh cried out, "But this will never work! You can't put chocolate in chili!"

Why this fiction:
It's clear the evolution of both food and scams stem from Biblical times, its a pleasure to be able to show a possible causal link between them.

The biggest problem:
The challenge is keeping it historically accurate. Obviously a lot of research went into this story. I had to consult with numerous culinary historians as well as several prominent mathematicians to determine what the biggest pyramids were and how the Pharaohs schemed to get them built.

Why it almost never got submitted:
The editors didn't believe it was probably, if you can believe it! I ended up having to bring him my five binders of research to show them all the work I'd done to establish the historicity of the piece. But I was able to prove the accuracy of the story and eventually they relented.

Hardest cut scene:
The scene where Pharaoh pays Moses for the Rhode Island Crab Cake recipe, even though it's pretty obvious that Moses wouldn't have a Crab Cake recipe at all, given that they aren't Kosher. But it was sorta redundant, given the Cincinnati Chili recipe, Manhattan Clam Chowder, Louisiana Crunch Cake, Cony Island Hot Dog, Boston Cream Pie, etc.

Things you should know:
They did not the use Cincinnati chili to make the Cony Island Hot Dog. That was absolutely never done!

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