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Rant: I don't mind admitted that my priorities are screwed up. I… - But here in my heart, I give you the best of my love. — LiveJournal
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But here in my heart, I give you the best of my love.

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February 23rd, 2004


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04:34 pm
Rant:
I don't mind admitted that my priorities are screwed up. I spend much more time with Frank than I have available and I wish I had more time to spend with him, because he's still fun.
Hoppie deeply resents the time I spend with Frank, as is his right as my husband, but he doesn't provide pleasurable alternative to Frank. I have no intention of becoming a TiVo zombie, "Oh, I can't go to bed now, I have to watch X on TiVo before it expires." Let the fucking thing expire. How important is it? I admit, I would prefer to see The Green Hornet episodes that I haven't seen before, but I think I have reasonable limits for the number of shows I maintain in my head at any given time. For instance: even though I haven't seen all of Charmed, I made a decision that I wouldn't TiVo the daily reruns because I knew it would be too much to keep up with. Hoppie on the other hand TiVo'd The Avengers throughout the entire Cathy Gale series on Mystery network? Why not? You ask. BECAUSE WE OWN ALL OF THE CATHY GALE AVENGERS! (We own most of the Avengers series on DVD. We lack Dr. David Keel and we only have the first Tara season, but as Dr. D doesn't wear tight skimpy clothing and Tara is a whiny little twit*, we don't really want to see those anyway) And we have for years. But he doesn't watch DVDs.
Only TiVo because he has to keep ahead of what's recorded on TiVo. If would never occur to him to, oh, I don't know, record one less thing and use that time to watch it on DVD, because "we have to keep up with TiVo." It's insane. Hoppie just keeps shoving more and more on the list and being mad at me because I don't consider it important enough to a) stay awake b) keep away from Frank or c) stay home for. I don't mind spending quality time with hoppie, but I'm tired of being quality TV time. If I'm going to be staring at a screen, I'd just rather be typing, that's all.
*Yes, I know, some people don't consider Tara a whiny little twit. They're odd.

Rant:
It doesn't cost me anything to lie. I spend a great teal of time convincing myself that it compromises my soul. It sullies my spirit. Blah blah blah, but the truth be told, it costs me nothing. The truth on the other hand, is unendurably costly. I'm tired of paying the price. Other people profit from my honesty, but I don't. And no matter how much I tell myself that I'm okay with that, that my soul is enriched, that I am somehow enobled by this, I don't feel any more noble. I feel bitter and grouchy. I feel like I always end up with the short end of the stick somehow. I guess we probably all feel that way.
And probably many of us can point to the exact cost in monitary values, time, effort, and sheer goodwill that our noblility has cost us. I don't know what you're supposed to take away from this. I have no action item here, no: damnit appreciate me, or I'll start lying and cheating and usuring and all that stuff. I just want someone to know that I know what it's costing me, that periodically I evaluate the price of honesty, and that, damnit, most of the time it's not worth it.
And by the way, If I see this on u_make_lj_suck, I will mock the poster soundly. Why? Because I was gracious and slipped this behind cut tags. Oh, the angst.

And I'm done.
Current Mood: grumpygrumpy
Current Music: "Such a tough little lady in a world that's so unkind"

(11 Represent the voice of the people | Request an audience)

Comments:


From:(Anonymous)
Date:February 23rd, 2004 02:13 pm (UTC)

remember

(Link)
two words: men suck.

I could always send you the cucumber list again. :) :) :) :)

--H
From:(Anonymous)
Date:February 23rd, 2004 02:20 pm (UTC)

Rant 2

(Link)
The only advantages that honesty has is that it is easier to keep the truth (as you know it) straight than lies. But yes, one does get trouble for noticing and mentioning that the Empiror is a bit chilly due to his lack of garments.

But lying weasels live well.

Yup, it sucks.

Love, CrazyRomanCatholicMomtoMore
From:kyzoku
Date:February 23rd, 2004 02:25 pm (UTC)

With regards to the TiVo zombie

(Link)
Isn't the whole point of TiVo to make it so you watch what you want, went you want? By falling into the trap of "having to watch it before it expires", you've become a slave to the TiVo's schedules instead of the network's schedules, which is hardly any better. In my case, I barely even watch TV anymore, but the few things I do watch are on the TiVo waiting for me when I have a few minutes to kill.

If it's a storage issue, upgrade the thing. It's not hard, and my offer to do it for you, given the materials, still stands.
[User Picture]
From:mdyesowitch
Date:February 23rd, 2004 02:44 pm (UTC)
(Link)
That would be lovely, Chip. Tell me what to buy.
-m
[User Picture]
From:cbongo
Date:February 23rd, 2004 10:08 pm (UTC)

Re:

(Link)
Everything you need to know is here. I upped a 30 hour to 67 and took a diskless one off ebay to 105 hours. Really easy with the current tools.
[User Picture]
From:mdyesowitch
Date:February 24th, 2004 06:53 am (UTC)
(Link)
Thank you. I'm more the carpentry sort than the electronics sort, and hoppie is a software genius, so we probably will make Chip do it anyway. 8-)
-m
From:(Anonymous)
Date:February 23rd, 2004 03:48 pm (UTC)

Re: With regards to the TiVo zombie

(Link)
what he said. I can't remember the last time I watched something truly "live". I don't even stay up late enough to watch ER. I guess it was probably baseball sometime last September, but even then, I had my friend "the pause button". (the minus of that, is that I can no longer say to my mother "I'm watching this, can I call you back?").

Of course our TiVo stores about 100 hours of digital video. Just bite the bullet and get a DirecTiVo already - you'll be much happier. We got ours almost three years ago. I remember watching TV before then - vaguely. Boy VHS tapes sucked (they probably still do, I just haven't watched my VCR in ages!)

--H
From:(Anonymous)
Date:February 23rd, 2004 05:13 pm (UTC)
(Link)
1.) I wish I had more time to spend with Frank Longbottom, too. But I don't think Arthur is into swinging. But maybe in book 6, the Longbottoms will revived by those kinky Weasleys. Harry Potter and the Orgy of the Old.

2.) It is never "the angst," but always "TEH ANGST!!!1" Silly non-fangirl.

3.) And speaking of: "OMFG, KATO IZ HAWT!"

-I Keep Telling You; I Wasn't Raised Right
[User Picture]
From:mdyesowitch
Date:February 24th, 2004 06:48 am (UTC)
(Link)
3) OMG, yes!!!! SQEEEEEEEE! Bruce Lee turns me into a raving fangirl. I tried to convince Cor to use him for Shen but she shut me down. *sniff*
And that is why Longbottom will never boff Shen!
[User Picture]
From:cbongo
Date:February 23rd, 2004 10:14 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Don't give up too easily on honesty. There are plenty of us out here who believe in it and appreciate it.

As you note, it costs you "nothing", but it costs everyone something, which in the end costs you 1/(number of people). A relative of the Prisoner's Dilemma describes this in a game-theoretic manner for the theoretic end, and "doing the right thing" still has some value, no matter what our "me generation" might think...
[User Picture]
From:mdyesowitch
Date:February 24th, 2004 06:55 am (UTC)
(Link)
That looks like hoppie's kind. I shall investigate further. 8-)
Thanks for the encouragement.
keeping the faith,
-m

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