Fairytale Princess Amy

Another date with the rudest woman in the world

So at Mahj Jongg last night, I had another tiff with the rudest woman in the world. She thinks I should listen with blind unquestioning faith to my doctor and do whatever she tells me, including submitting to foetal monitoring twice a week and appointments once a week. She, of course, has no idea of the procedure or the time involved or the impact on my life or the benefits.

It's hard to explain that foetal monitoring, while it was touted as the cure-all for baby monitoring and its ability to reduce interventions by showing when they aren't needed, has led to increased interventions, because the baby does different things. Doctors want to see feotal movements etc, and if the baby is asleep, or in a hard to monitor position, they aren't going to see what they want anyway. I'm trying so hard to be compassionate to my doctors who I know ultimately want the same goal as me, a healthy, live baby, but they have no faith in *me*. They only trust their medical science. I trust both myself and the science. I can do this. They look at me and see OaF and never look any further. They expect the "typical" OaF problems; high pressure (don't have it), gestational diabetes (don't have it), small baby (baby is tracking perfectly for age)...etc. I look at me and see a strong, determined, capable woman who is fully capable of giving birth to a child. While my intention is to give birth in a hospital, surrounded by medical professionals, I believe that if I went into labour on a bus, I'd be able to deliver a healthy, if uncomfortable baby. Not that I'd be on a bus, but the point remains. I feel confident in my ability to give birth. Am I going to deliberately go out into the cane fields and give birth there and continue with my threshing, probably not, but I know that I could, if I needed to. Infertility does not automatically equal childbirth failure. OaF does not automatically mean that my baby is at risk every second I carry him or her.

So to be lectured by this sanctimonious bitch who thinks she has the one true and perfect method of childbirth, which is "listen to your doctor," is laughable. It's not my doctor's baby. It's mine. I'm not trying to be controlling or anti-authoritarian. I just want things to make sense, to be logical and appropriate. The level of intervention I'm getting is already excessive. I have NO DESIRE to increase it. And she doesn't get that. To her, because I'm OaF, she sides with the doctor, who understands these things. I've seen doctors confused before. I had a GP for 12 years who was constantly frustrated by my excellent blood work, because he expected me to have high blood pressure and high cholesterol. He was angry because the only argument he could offer for me losing weight was for its own sake, not because I had other metrics that needed controlling through weight loss and proper nutrition. I had an eye doctor who gave me vision test and couldn't understand how my eyes work and finally screamed me in his frustration.
("Are you seeing this double?"
"No."
"Are you seeing this double?"
"Why not!!!???")*
I described these incidents to Hoppie who, whenever he would accompany me to doctor's appointments started looking for incidents like this, where the doctor would disregard the evidence of his tests in favor of the evidence of his eyes and assume there had to be something wrong me, and later point out all the times in which the doctor assumed there was some problem with me that wasn't born out by any evidence.

And then, to top it off, when I said that Hoppie was going to my appointments with me, she tore into me for that. "Why can't you go by yourself. You're a big girl." Wait a second. Why should I have to go alone? I like having a second set of ears to verify what I heard and to bring another perspective to the table. It's like having a sanity check. While I don't think he needs to to the foetal monitoring, that doesn't mean I want to spend hours at a hospital strapped up to monitoring equipment by myself. And I couldn't believe Ellen sided with her on that. That was disappointing. I thought she'd understand. She goes with Lester to his appointments (and I assume vice/versa). And, in fairness, I go with Hoppie to most of his appointments. He prefers not to go alone so it's possible to make the time, I go with him. I don't take him to most of my appointments. I didn't make him do the shots, but I've been so happy to have him along with me at my ob appointments and at the RE consults. And why wouldn't he be there. With a checkup at the GPs, okay, maybe there's no reason to have him there, it is, after all, my body, but at the OBs, we're looking at his baby too, not just mine. I did give him the option of not going with me to the anesthesiologist appointment I have today, but he said he wanted to come. He has questions about the process and wants to clarify his position in case he needs to either solicit their help, or defend me against it, as the situation warrants.

And furthermore, what the hell business is it of hers how many times I go to the doctor or whether Hoppie comes with me? She had her kids and made her choices. This is my kid and my choice is what matters. I will NOT do any to wantonly endanger my baby. And how come when Robin the Midwife (who btw, is a Certified CBE, doula, midwife, has written more than 10 books on childbirth and childbirth education, and has advanced degrees in the subject) provides information, she has, "one opinion" on the matter, but my doctor is magically perfect? Why don't they each have one opinion that I could choose from.

Even the midwife at the doctor's office thinks the high level of monitoring I'm experiencing is excessive given the way the baby is performing.

I was going to include my nightmare, but this went long.

*When I told this to my current optometrist (and there's a reason he's my current), he explained that because of the fact that my eyes are so different, I don't usually binocular focus, and therefore, wouldn't see anything double because only one eye is ever really seeing something. Furthermore, my brain is accustomed to this and automatically compensates to create depth perceptions, usually the responsibility of binocular focus. My depth perception, judging by my ability at spacial relations, is actually quite good.
Fairytale Princess Amy

Rereading Harry Potter

I have some questions with no answers.

Sirius found out after his brother Regulus died that he was killed by Voldemort or Death Eaters because he's had a change of heart and tried to stop being a Death Eater or refused to carry out Voldemort's orders. When we find out what actually happened to Regulus, it seems like Voldemort would never have known about his change of heart. Unless he was trying to do damage control by putting out that he'd had Regulus killed because he vanished without a trace and no one wants to think a powerful wizard could mislay a supporter. We know that Voldemort never knew Regulus had stolen the locket. The only thing he knew for sure was that after Kreature had helped him, Regulus disappeared. I can believe that because of the Death Eater tattoo, Voldemort would have known he was dead, there being no one on the other end of the Regulus communicator, as it were. But as to the why and where, clearly that was unknown or Voldemort would have shifted himself to find the locket soonest.

Booklists for year 7. Did Harry, Ron, and Hermione get their booklists? Normally, owls can find their owners to deliver letters, but presumably they didn't arrive until after the wedding. For Ron, they probably would have delivered to the Burrow, but they had no problem finding Harry in the Cottage on the Sea (although it arrived with Hagrid) so why would they not be able to deliver to Harry wherever he was? Or Hermione wherever she was. Come to that, why can't they detect that Ron isn't at home? Owls find Sirius (eventually) who is on the run, so wouldn't they be able to test whether Ron is home by sending him an owl, and seeing where it goes?

Edited to add:

Hermione says when they're in the tea shop having just defeated the two Death Eaters after escaping the wedding that she's never done memory charms, but understands the theory. How did she modify her parents memories if she's never done memory charms? What did she do instead? I think that's an editing/continuity error, personally. Bad editor! Bad!

Is SPT's prophesy in Prisoner of Azkaban to HJP in the Hall of Prophecy (I mean, before the kids smashed up the room) and how it is marked? I got the impression that things got in the hall of prophesy by being sort of Pensively extracted and captured in a crystal ball and collected, but what if it was a more automated process? Magic is detectable, and therefore so could prophecy. But clearly it doesn't solve its own riddles as evidenced by the label on the STP/APWBD prophecy in which Harry's name was written in later, after being attacked by Voldemort. So if it was an automated process where the prophecy just appears when uttered, it should appear like this, "SPT to HJP. Dark Lord and Sirius Black. If it survived the night at ministry, it should have been relabeled, "SPT to HJP. Dark Lord and Peter Pettigrew." It doesn't make sense, in my opinion, that Dumbledore would be able to report on the prophecy since he didn't directly hear it. So if a prophecy happens and no one knows to report it to the ministry, did it happen?

Edited to add:

Peter Pettigrew/Sirius Black/Death Eaters. I can understand why the DE have no particular interest in clearing the air on the Sirius Black vs Peter Pettigrew, "who is the traitor," issue. It's surprising to me that Karkaoff doesn't try to throw the blame to Peter Pettigrew during his trial, but on the other hand, why would the ministry pay off for dead Death Eater and it seemed like everyone, including Black, believed Black killed Pettigrew. Karkaoff says that V tried to keep his Death Eaters away from each other, but yet Black says earlier that the imprisoned Death Eaters in Azakaban blame Pettigrew for Voldemort's downfall. How did they know who to blame? I guess I understand that Bellatrix would know Sirius was more likely to be Order of the Phoenix than Voldemort, and possibly even who the traitor was, but it seems like if it's common knowledge within Azkaban, how did the Ministry of Magic and Dumbledore NEVER hear about it? I can understand the Dementors not caring, but it seems like some of the prisoners might have mentioned at some point.

My other question is the DE tattoo. It seems like the Ministry would find a way to make the tattoo show itself so they could confirm who is DE and who isn't. Also, it seems like, from Draco's experience in Madam Malkin's, that the tattoo is visible all the time. Otherwise, why would he feel the need to conceal his arm? Possibly it's a new tattoo so it takes time to fade into the skin? Maybe? But it seems like as long as V is strong, it displays.

I think that might be all for now.
Fairytale Princess Amy

Twilight Time

Yesterday I was picking up my copy of Face Off by Mark del Franco and The Mammoth Book of Regency Romance and I saw a Twilight: New Moon Tshirt in a nice box package in Hoppie's size.

So despite my solemn vow not to buy Hoppie additional Tshirts, I purchased it. I bought it home and he looked at it. And looked at the back and said, "Please tell me you didn't pay $19.95 for this."
"I did not. It was on 75% clearance. And knowing how much you love trendy Tshirts like this, I had to get it. It was less than 5$."
"Oh good."
"I would not have paid $20 for that."
"I wouldn't think so, but..."
Fairytale Princess Amy

Grr

My ring snapped. It's got a ring guard on it, so I don't need to worry about it yet, but this is the second time! Good heavens. Last time I had to have entirely resized. I suppose I could do that, but it's not really the best time. I'll see where I am next year.
Fairytale Princess Amy

Moderator's message (now with self test!)

Time again friends for me to remind people of how my livejournal is organized.

Infertility stuff is friends-locked, but not in a custom group (although I suppose by rights it should be. Oh well. Too late now.)

Pregnancy stuff (when appropriate) is in a custom group. If you want to be added, feel free to comment to this post saying that you want to be added to the Pregnancy group.

Truly depressing, rambly rants are in a custom group. If you want to be added, feel free to comment to this post saying you want to be added to the Futility group.

All women are automatically added to the Girls custom group, but I don't think I use it anymore, and I'm not quite sure why I created it, so forget I mentioned it.

Edited to add: It's funny because when I was journalling with someone who was doing a friendlist cull, I mentioned he should follow it up with a friends-locked post so people would know if they were culled or not and then 2 days later, I post this without custom groups right behind it to verify. I've now added a post to each custom group. You should see it. It should, I hope, be obvious.
Fairytale Princess Amy

Carz

So when I took the car in last Tuesday to get the airco fixed, I asked them to take a look at the windows too. I thought it was probably a loose fuse, but apparently the window motor units had died (not surprising. They always seem to be very cheaply made for rear windows.) So they fixed the airco while I was there and then ordered the part for the next day. When I brought the car in the next day, they told (after quite some time) that they'd only received part of the part, not the motor assembly. So they insisted I take a rental and get out of their hair. So I did. I picked up the car all right and tight Thursday.
Hoppie is thinking that rather than repair his airconditioning, he might well buy a new car. The problem is that they don't make his car anymore. So he's not sure what wants if he can't have a new Saturn. We looked at this old dealership to see what they have and there's a Saturn Ion that he didn't totally hate, so we might go back and take a look at that.

We looked at the website and the nearest approximate car recommended was dreadful.
Fairytale Princess Amy

Women don't blog

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/opinions/why-are-bloggers-male/article1503780/

and the follow-up:
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/technology/female-bloggers-take-on-margaret-wente/article1504975/

This article references MAS (Male Answer Syndrome) as the reason women don't blog. Funny story about that. One of Hoppie's coworkers once had up one of those MAS spam things about how men will make up answers rather than admit they don't know. One day Hoppie took it down and replaced it with an identically worded spoof about how MAS, explaining how men have this genetic predisposition to know the answer. You ask a man a random question, such as, "How many carbohydrates in a Big Mac?" and without having previously known or thought about the answer, it just magically appears in their heads. The mere ask of asking the question produces the answer. It was brilliantly funny in that acerbic way Hoppie has. I wonder if I still have a copy of it.

Anyway, I don't believe in MAS, or if I do, I believe it afflicts more than just the male population. I know as many women who are as likely to give an incorrect answer, knowing they don't know the answer for sure, as I do men.